2010 Summer Retreat Review
Retreat review by Jo-Anne Wuziuk
As
the last days of summer wind down, my mind wanders back to the summer
retreat. I am reminded of
all the loving connections, the beauty of Nature, the fun and laughter,
and the support that has helped me have a happier life.
As
I entered the unknown at the retreat, I was anxious with anticipation.
This is my next adventure.
I
reconnected with those I knew and made new connections with those I
didn’t know. I started
exploring what I was dealing with to work on at this retreat.
Each
person that showed up was a reflection of some aspect of myself.
How I interacted with them, how I felt about them and around
them, were all for me to examine. These
people helped show me the habits and conditions of my life and made me
realize I could change what was happening in my life, if I wanted to.
With
guidelines and the agreement of the whole group to work towards a
loving, safe environment to experiment and open up to allowing changes,
I was able to explore depths of myself I hadn’t previously been able
to access.
With
information provided by others and Kelly; with support and acceptance of
where I was at in my life; with the love I felt, I was able to express
my feelings and release the emotional weight I had been carrying.
With
this release, I found clarity and centeredness.
I was able to make decisions and devise a new plan of action for
my life that felt like I had found hope again.
Hope that I can improve my life, that I can be happy, and that I
am loved.
Through
individual connections, small and large group work, I was able to
realize that it was time for me to release the judgements I had of
myself and others. These
judgements didn’t serve me well and I felt a freedom that opened me up
to being able to receive the love and support others were offering me.
I did what I had to do in my past to survive. It worked. I’m
here. Now, it’s time to
let my past go and to forgive myself and others and to move forward.
I
found out how important communication is. Wrapped up in my fears and my own thoughts, I am sentenced to
a prison that keeps me stuck and mostly alone.
Even in my fear, if I ask questions, find out what is causing
others to behave the way they are, then I gain insights and perspectives
that help dissipate my fears. Sometimes,
the reality of what’s going on in interactions with others is
different from my perspective. It
allows me to have understanding of others and compassion for them and
for me.
Of
course, I enjoyed being like a child again, playing games, like no
boundary bocci ball and no height limit table tennis; swimming in the
river; playing and listening to music; eating marshmallows around the
fire; and walking in the beauty and tranquility of the forest.
I
found out at the retreat that I am not alone in my desire to care for
the planet and in my efforts to make a difference in this world.
There are many loving souls doing what I’m doing and even more
to spread love and healing in and to the world.
There
were a great variety of delicious foods and desserts that helped me make
sure I had the energy to work and play.
I
was really happy for the warm weather at the retreat so that I could
enjoy rafting down the river. It
was fun playing in the water and watching the birds, including the
eagles fly high above us.
I
am especially grateful to the animals that joined us at the retreat,
Tinka, the resident dog; beautiful gentle deer; a porcupine; and swarms
of butterflies. Some even
said they heard the call of the coyotes.
I
felt like I was truly seen at the retreat for the loving soul that I am
at my core. Yes, I have
some unhealthy behaviors and shadow stuff and I am still loved.
By interacting with others in this safe, loving space, I have
decided to make changes to modify some of my behaviors and lead a
happier, more loving life.
Now
that I am home, even though I miss the people, the loving interactions,
and the beautiful space, I am not lonely.
I found out that if I’m my own companion, I can’t be lonely.
It’s true.
I
thank those who attended the retreat, with my whole heart, for being an
important part of my growth process.
I thank each of you for your vulnerability, your trust, your
sharing, your companionship, your support, and your love.
They
say a picture is worth a thousand words. The words I have written here will never truly capture all
that transpired for me at the retreat.
They are but a tidbit of the experience, the feelings, and the
growth I experienced. If
you are interested and would like a glimpse of more of the retreat,
there are pictures posted on Kelly Tobey’s Facebook group site.
I
enjoyed the journey and look forward to the next adventure.
Love
and hugs,
Jo-Anne
