Enhance
Your Life By Healing Family Dysfunctions
Calgary Workshop – May 2009
On Friday night we
started the workshop and set the agreements and container that would
create safety for the weekend. We
were assigned to “home groups” and selected our challenge, way
through and gift cards. We then spent some time with our home groups and got to know
each other.
Saturday started with a
process that focused on how often we confuse our essence with
behaviours. For many
people, we were punished by our parents by them telling us that we were
a “bad” boy or girl – this created confusion as we started to
identify with the “bad” behaviours and started to think we were
“bad” people and started to build personality roles (Nice guy,
Rebel) to protect ourselves. We
learned that the essence (or our core) could never be harmed.
The process continued on to show us that many of us fear the
journey back to our essence as we uncover grief and shine the light on
previous “bad behaviours”. We
learned, and witnessed, that if we have the courage to face our fears we
can reclaim our essence. We
also learned that we do not have to do this journey on our own and had a
great example of asking for and receiving support.
Kelly spoke on the
different roles that we take on in order to survive aspects of our
childhood. The roles
sometimes become automatic and we forget that they are there.
We then did a fun exercise that had each home group putting on a
skit to show the different roles – and uncovered some budding actors J
On Sunday a couple
described their struggles with their relationship.
Kelly facilitated each partner to describe their childhood and
recognize how their experiences had set up some of their patterns of
behaviour towards one another and towards their children.
Everyone was hugely impacted when the couple’s love for each
other shone through – a great example of ”love is the answer”.
The group surrounded the couple and blessed them and their
relationship.
Another process
examined how we learn to hide our needs under a disguise of
independence. For some of
us this can be so difficult to face that we run from our families or
feel like leaving the planet. Kelly
guided the participant through a role-playing exercise that allowed her
to ask her mother for what she was craving “I want your love Mom”
and through this the participant was able to process the neediness.
In the afternoon we
spent time being kids – remembering and then drawing our favourite
childhood memories on a flip chart – and then presenting them to the
group. There was a lot of
laughter and some tears too as we appreciated the gifts that our
parents, guardians, siblings and family had given us.
The final exercise was to share and receive appreciations from our home group. We then completed the workshop by creating a big circle and sharing or closing thoughts and appreciations. Clearly the workshop had moved people and a lot of healing had occurred. A group of strangers had become loving, intimate and kind to one another and hope had returned to many. It was an amazing group experience and we look forward to the next opportunity.
