Just Show Up
(Positivity - Does It Really Work?)
by Kelly Tobey

  Just show up. It sounds easy enough, but how often do we really do it. When all is well there is certainly less resistance to being here, but when being here means dropping into uncomfortable - often condemned - feelings, how much willingness is there?

Many of us have built the following as our most dominating belief system: "life is against us - we can't trust life". So we need to be on the defensive and live our lives from a point of "againstness". If we live in a universe that follows our mental constructs and is willing to support us in manifesting our beliefs, then it follows that, if we have a dominating belief that the universe is against us, then the Lifeforce will respond to the choice of our belief system, and will manifest whatever is necessary to support us in being right about that belief system.

Example: Notice how a person with a dominating belief system that says - "I have to struggle hard to make money" - gets to be right and finds them self working hard for every dollar they get.

If we want to be right about this being an unsupportive universe, it is very hard to turn the corner into a life of peace and joy and love, because all we see is a reflection of our own dominating belief system that says life is against us. If this is the case, who would want to show up?

Some people that know that life follows belief, and recognize they have some beliefs in them that say life is against, try to jump to the polar extreme, and attempt to harvest in themselves a belief that says life is "for" - not "against".

At first thought this would seem to make logical sense. As witnessed by how many people have jumped on the "let's think positive and do our positive affirmations" bandwagon. 

This can create a shift for many people. Yet, let's look at this with closer scrutiny. Is it the ultimate place to aim for? If we call in the belief that some things are positive and "for", whether we like it or not, we've wedded ourselves to it's polar opposite. In order for positive and "for", to have a meaning, their polarities of negative and "against" have to be present. This demands that the believer sees a world of duality.

There is only one place this world of duality can exist and that is in the mind of the judge, the person that has judged what is positive and what is negative, and enforced their personal arbitrary decisions on whatever forms or thoughts they choose to. If a person wants to perceive the universe in a dualistic, split way, one way to attempt it, is to judge things as positive or negative and to judge what is "for" and what is "against". But the idea that the world is dualist and split becomes hard to hold on to, and becomes more and more confusing under even further scrutiny.

Let's say for an example that our judging mind has decided that forgiving is positive and that revenge is negative. So we want to embrace that which has been called positive (forgiving) in order to rid ourselves of that which has been called negative (revenge).

But what if we are like most people on the planet and have a part of us that is forgiving (no matter how conscious or unconscious we are of it) and a part of us that is revengeful (no matter how conscious or unconscious we are of it)? In order to claim that forgiving part of us as positive, we have to condemn the revengeful part of us as negative. How can we be forgiving of our own revengeful part if we have condemned it as negative and bad?

Now this is the place where the illusion of dualism becomes hard to hold because it doesn't make any sense. In our attempt to be positive we've forced the idea of negative into being. One could say that being completely positive is an impossible goal to attain because the very act of attempting to be positive forces one to be negative against something else.

One alternative would be to discern that - what is, is - with no judgment. Forgiveness is forgiveness and brings certain results into being. Revenge is revenge and brings certain results into being. If we condemn either of them as bad, we create a layer of shame. Typically if we are ashamed of something we try to avoid really looking at it because of how uncomfortable the shame feels. This makes it harder to look at anything we've placed a "negative" judgment on. If we can't become fully aware of our behaviors, attitudes and choices and how they effect us, then we remove our ability to choose between continuing them or discontinuing them.

The so-called power of positive thinking could actually be seen as a not-so-sophisticated attempt of denial of one's own negative judgments. But to focus on so-called positivity does not make so-called negativity go away. Instead it drives the so-called negativity underground into our subconscious and unconscious mind. And every conscious glorification of the parts we judge as positive, creates an unconscious shaming of the parts we judge as negative and have buried deeper and deeper within.

Holding tight to the positive will breed an underlying fear that the negative may show up at any time.

If we have a belief system that is dominated with the idea that the universe is for us, but that belief is held through a positivity that is covering up our underlying fear of the negative (something may be against us) we will be attached to seeing only the forms we judge as positive and attempt to hide from that which we see as negative. (See Figure A)

As long as we see that which we judge as positive, we will react with pleasure, although the pleasure may be tainted with the underlying fear that negativity may show up any time.

Yet because of the power of the underlying belief in the negative (unconscious beliefs are just as powerful as conscious ones) the universe will support us in manifesting that belief system too, by sometimes demonstrating those things that we have a judgment of negativity on.

It can be so frustrating for people who have been busy trying to clean out their thoughts and who have done tens of thousands of positive affirmations in an attempt to get their world to fit their positive image, only to find that what they judged as negative keeps showing up. They often tell themselves that they haven't worked hard enough at it, that they need to hold on to their positivity even more tightly. They may not even entertain the idea that perhaps their method of positivity doesn't work - that perhaps it is the polarization of positive and negative inherent in the method that leads them to grief.

Possible Solution: Affirm that which you wish to bring into being, but watch that the affirmation is not against anything and that it doesn't deny or cover-up any parts that run contrary to your affirmation. If denied, those parts retain power in the subconscious. If the contrary parts are invited into consciousness the following may happen. The contrary part may have something important to add that hasn't been considered. Becoming aware of it gives you an opportunity to incorporate it. Or the contrary part may be carrying a misguided belief system that can be addressed, consciously clarified, and restructured so your whole self can be congruently aligned. This clears the internal splits that would have remained otherwise.

Example: A woman's conscious affirmation may state: "I invite in a successful relationship with a man." Yet in her subconscious there may be an unsurfaced memory, tied to a trauma, which feeds a dominating subconscious belief system. That contrary part of her might say: "I was molested as a child by my father. That was a very upsetting experience. To protect myself I'm choosing to stay clear of relationships with all men because all men are dangerous and relationships are unsuccessful." With this dominating belief system in her subconscious she is highly unlikely to attract a relationship, and if she does, it's bound to be an unsuccessful one no matter how many affirmations she makes at a conscious level.

If the woman continues to repeat her conscious affirmation with sufficient intention - "I invite in a successful relationship with a man" - the universe will start to move toward manifesting the conscious affirmation by first showing the woman what is blocking the manifestation. She will be given opportunities to become conscious of that which she has held unconscious, such as the molestation. If she turns away from the opportunities in denial or fear, but keeps setting the intention to invite a successful relationship with a man, she will set up a dynamic tension within herself. Her affirming will bring memories to the surface and her fear and denial will struggle to push them away. She will literally be fighting against herself and the results can show up in confusion, stress, physical illness, dissatisfaction, anger, frustration, etc.

On the other hand, if she invites that contrary part of herself forward without judging it as negative or against her, she will find that the part is actually on her side. It is trying to protect her - it just has some partially misconstrued ideas.

So, if the woman is willing to feel this contrary part's feelings and hear what it has to say, it can lead to a useful interaction. The end result may be that an agreement can be established between the part that invites relationship and the part that pushes relationship away. They may agree to shift to the following: All men do not behave like my father did at that time. I agree to use my discernment as I open to choosing a safe and appropriate man to be with in a successful relationship.

This way both parts can be heard, honored and served as they come together consciously to move the woman towards having her affirmation manifested.

Yes, there may be many more steps. There may be other parts in the unconscious that need to come to the surface and be included. The more these parts are ignored, denied or fought against, the longer the woman continues to manifest confusion and frustration. The universe serves a combination of all the belief systems whether they are conscious ones or unconscious ones. The more these belief systems are out of alignment with each other, the more our life will manifest in a confusing manner because it is following the guidance of our creative but conflicting thoughts.

To unravel the confusion, be willing to show up here in the present moment - open to all of yourself because this is where the most information is. Be willing to be patient and trust the process - time (a combination of many present moments) can be a great tool in expanding our awareness of our inherent wholeness. Release judgments and the temptation to divide things into good and bad. Open to all things, integrating that which truthfully serves your path, and releasing, without againstness, that which no longer serves you.

Because of the underlying fear of the negative, it is often very hard for the so-called "positive" thinkers to allow themselves to just show up and be totally present.

If they allow themselves to be wholly present, they may start to experience the parts of themselves they have judged as negative. Their attachment to positivity tries to block that and this puts them in conflict with themselves. That inner conflict often manifests itself outside of them as well.

Notice how positive thinkers will often have people that are extremely angry popping up in their lives somewhere. The more the positive thinker attempts to hold on to their positivity, the more the other person seems to polarize and get even more irritated. Often the positive thinker is so lost they don't recognize that their own internal conflict is attracting a reflective external conflict. They have no idea that their judgment is feeding the polarization and conflict. They often just think-- that person is too negative (notice the judgment) if they were positive like me there would be no problem (notice the other judgment). The positive thinker has no idea that they have drawn this person to them in order to show them a part of themselves they have condemned and attempted to disown.

If we have adopted the idea of being positive in an attempt to see oneness and to see the universe as unified, we are unlikely to succeed. It is unable to succeed because it is a judgmental belief system that embraces only what it judges as positive and tries to push away the rest as if it wasn't part of the whole.

Let's now look at a person who carries the dominating belief system that the universe is against them (Figure B), Remember, to hold the concept of negative againstness they must somewhere carry its polar opposite - that there is a positive. This will create an underlying sense of hope in them, although it may be quite small.

As the universe will respond to the dominating belief system, if they have enough conscious and unconscious beliefs in a negative world, it will be easy for them to see negativity in what happens to them. They get to be right even if they don't get to be happy.

This person will also have a hard time being willing to just show up and be present. lf the dominating belief is that the world is negative, then the idea of being totally present with the world would seem to lead to devastation. There's still a hope that there may be something positive, but because of the unwillingness to be present, it's hardly possible for it to be explored. Instead, the hope has to be held as an unexperienced fantasy. There is often a fear that if they really showed up and felt all that negativity (that they believe will be here), that they might find out that the hope really is just a fantasy (after all, their dominating belief is that life is negative, meaning there is nothing to hope for) and then they would fall deep into the feeling of hopelessness. Staying away from being present with themselves, in the now, means they can hang on to their fantasy hope. Feeling as badly as they do now, but having a little bit of hope of the positive to fantasize about, can seem less scary than to risking the dropping into a place of complete hopelessness that may await them if they just show up in the moment only to find their worst fear (that there is nothing positive) to be true.

Example: A man with a dominating negative belief system may feel that all relationships are doomed to disaster. He may have entered some relationships in the past only to find that the universe supported him in manifesting his dominating beliefs. Yes, he perceived that his relationships ended in disaster, and he felt like his heart was irreparably broken.

Yet because negativity forces it's opposite, positivity, into existence, somewhere in this man's mind is a slight hope that a relationship could be positive. He even builds that hope into a fantasy that keeps him from feeling totally hopeless.

Now a woman shows up in his life that has every potential of being compatible with him. The man chooses to back away in fear. He thinks, if I enter a relationship with this much possibility, it's likely to fall apart and my heart will only be further broken. Then to, my fantasy hope of there possibly being a relationship for me, will also be broken. Then I'll really feel the pain of my hopelessness.

So the man continues on his way, clinging desperately to his little fantasy that perhaps there's a relationship for him, but he is unwilling to risk the feelings that may come forward if he enters a real live relationship.

This inner picture often projects outward as well. Notice how often a person with a dominating negative belief system will draw toward them people that will offer them hope in the form of possible solutions to their negative situations. Yet no matter how many positive solutions are offered, the negative thinking person will come up with a mental excuse of why it wouldn't work or why they couldn't try that. They will attempt anything to block the actual trying of the suggestions.

Why would they resist trying solutions? Because to them it may feel less risky to continue to feel the pain of their situation yet have a fantasy hope that something might work to get them out, than to actually try the solutions only to find that they didn't work, leaving them to face deep, hopeless despair.

A negative thinker in this situation often recognizes they are in opposition to the person offering positive suggestions and they tend to blame themselves for the entire opposition, or to blame the other for not understanding how terrible it is for them. Either way they get to be right about their belief system that says the universe is negative.

A dominating negative belief system, if seen in the short term, can look a lot less appealing and a lot harder to live with than a dominating positive belief system. For this reason more and more people are attracted to attempt to change their thoughts to positive ones.

For someone who has lived a life dominated by a negative belief system, it may be of use for them to jump over to the other side of the polarity and experience positivity so they get a taste of the other side.

For someone who has lived a life dominated by a positive belief system that is covering over and denying parts of them that they are ashamed of and they believe are negative, it may be of use to them to jump over to the other side of the polarity and experience their unconscious negativity first hand. But jumping from pole to pole will never in itself lead to experiencing wholeness.

What if we were to start to cultivate an integrative belief system (See Figure C) that sees the universe as malleable energy that can manifest in any illusion of separate forms but behind that illusion remains whole, as One? What if we see the ideas of negative and positive as just illusory judgments? What if this integrative belief system gave us the courage to just show up in the moment, open to watching the illusions unfold, and willing to experience our personally-constructed dramas? What if we started to trust the Oneness enough that we knew that we could trust the process of stepping into the moment, even if it meant we might get lost for a while in the duality of negative and positive? What if we could trust that by being present with ourselves in our completeness, the illusions of separation would eventually unwind and release? What if a connection to Oneness means we can intuitively access any information that supports our most appropriate step for this moment? What if this would lead us from having an integrative belief system of wholeness into having an actual integrative experience of wholeness? What if the belief of oneness would out-picture as a manifestation of Oneness? What if we could watch as various forms come and go, moment to moment, with an awareness that they are parts of the Oneness and we need not hang on to any of them or judge any of them as positive or negative? What if a connection to Oneness means we can intuitively access any information that would serve us in this moment?

The more of our illusions we are attached to for security, the scarier the idea of just showing up seems. Showing up often means the unraveling of illusions, which means stepping into the unknown. What is left when the illusions are gone? Can I trust it will be Oneness? Can I trust that there will be a place for who I really am when the illusions of who I am not are dissolved? I will only know through experience. Besides, what is the option? - to go back to creating more illusion - to continue pretending to split myself into positive and negative - to experience the conscious and unconscious heart-wrenching loneliness that comes from experiencing myself as separate from myself. Are those options even worth considering, or is it time to take a risk and just show up?

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