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In The Direction Of The Ideal Healer
by Kelly Tobey
Isn't it fascinating how we can look out and easily see the wounds that others carry even if they are busy denying that they have them? Isn't it fascinating how others can easily see the wounds in us even if we are busily denying them or only have a vague sense of their existence? Isn't it interesting that often times the more someone is busy denying their wound the more tempting it is to stick a finger in the wound and wiggle it around just to bring their attention to it? In some circles this is called "pushing someone's buttons."
Button pushing is often done consciously but probably even more of it is done subconsciously. Does this urge to "push buttons" come from a malicious intention to make someone writhe in pain from their wound or is there a deeper unconscious intention to help bring the persons attention to their wound so they can start their journey of healing it? Have you ever wondered why your mate or close friend would risk "pushing your buttons" when they know there is a possibility you will get upset? Have you ever thought from a place of anger that they were doing it just to irritate you? Do you really think that anyone would be silly enough to actually want to deal with your behaviors towards them that come out when you are lost in anger? Do you really think that they would be silly enough to trigger your anger just so they could be faced with dealing with it and all it brings up for them? Now we all know that this "button pushing" does go on, but given most peoples desire to be happy and content I would suggest that something is happening here at a deeper level that we aren't always aware of. Perhaps this person truly loves us to such a degree that they will risk (consciously or unconsciously) the consequences of drawing attention to our wounds because they hope that we will have an opportunity to become aware of them and start the process of healing them. Even though time and again we may attempt to deny the wound by attacking or blaming the other person for the hurt, that person at a deep level is devoted enough to keep coming back and pointing out the wound that needs healing.
It is true that, that partner or close friend may be very clumsy at attempting to initiate healing but that doesn't take away from the deep underlying intention to be in service. In fact I would suggest that perhaps every human being has a deep underlying motivation to be in service and to help heal the many distorted perceptions we carry as humans. Granted some people may have the intention buried so deep that it can only be seen through a miracle, but that doesn't mean it is not there.
What if we are all meant to strengthen our gift as healers? What would it be that we would move towards? What would an ideal healer look like? Here are some of my thoughts on the subject to be received or discarded as you see fit.
An ideal healer will be conscious of the deeper loving intention and keep it in focus when approaching the territory of another's woundedness. The ideal healer will have let go of any attachment to having the person look at their wound or not. The ideal healer knows there is a time of ripeness and readiness for everyone and doesn't move in to dissolve the other person's layers of denial unless that person has given them an invitation of one form or another. The ideal healer works with, not against others. The ideal healer is willing to go in and cut away the old patterns, the false roles and the destructive behaviors that don't serve the person. This is never done from a place of being against or of cutting at who that person really is in their essence. The ideal healer knows that healing comes from uniting energies, not fighting against them. The ideal healer is aware of being a vehicle for the healing to come through and be expressed. The healing isn't owned by the healer. Healing comes from a place where all are joined. To think one can own healing as a separate entity is to not understand that healing comes from recognizing wholeness. Healing doesn't come from believing in separation. The ideal healer always sees past behaviors, masks and into the other's greatness and their wholeness and is willing to support the other's awareness of this as well. The ideal healer encourages the removal of all blocks that lay in the way of the other recognizing who they truly are. The ideal healer is open to using any form or tool that is called for through the intuitive guidance received from Spirit.
There are two categories that many of the healing methods fall into. One could he seen as thrusting, poking or stabbing at the wound (block). An example would he a confrontive style encounter group where fears and resistance are pushed through aggressively. The other could he seen as a gentle laying of a finger, into the wound to bring awareness to it when the time is ripe. An example would be a support group where there is a trust that everyone has an inherent inner healer that supports one's own healing. When that inner healer comes forth, it brings an invitation to have the wound pointed out. The group then aligns their support with the focus person's inner knowing and they join together to process the wound.
When a healer is out of touch with intuitive guidance they may no longer be facilitating healing. They may be thrusting when it is time to be gentle or they may he gently touching the surface of something that needs to be penetrated.
A good example of the different methods can be seen in the field of body work. (The following not only applies to body work, it is also a metaphor for healing work done in a variety of fields that include the physical, the emotional, the mental and the spiritual aspects of healing.)
Speaking generally there is at one end of the scale a deep penetrating style that pushes through all resistance. The body worker will push even when the client is resisting and tightening the muscle against the pressure. Eventually the muscle may tire and give up the fight. This brings release and relaxation. This method takes a lot of energy because the two forces (one holding tensely and the other pushing against) are opposing each other. These energies are being used up primarily at the physical level. At the level of intention the energies are still aligned as both the healer and the client have in their minds the goal of relaxation as an outcome.
This method can initially bring a lot of pain for the client as tightening, resisting and holding against something creates tension and pain. Of course the muscle has already been in lower levels of pain for a long time as it has been holding in a semi-tense state. Being pushed against, amplifies that pain for a short period before release.
On the other end of the scale we have the method of working with the energetic fields that surround us outside of the physical body. When the body worker is in tune with the client, there is a joining of energetic forces that move towards an integrating and balancing of the client. The body worker brings gentle movement into the energetic blocks without a need to forcefully push against them.
Neither the forceful nor the gentle methods are of any use within themselves unless they are appropriate to what is called for to remove blocks at that time. A flexible healer knows and is willing to work with whichever method is intuitively called for. Instead of trying to fit the client to a method, they will use a method or methods that fit the client in the moment.
If a body worker goes against what is being called for (whether they are consciously aware of going against or not) at best nothing happens but a waste of time, and at worst they can (in conjunction with the client) create even more tension and wounding.
For example with using inappropriate deep penetrating, perhaps the body worker will stop or the client will pull away before the client's muscles have surrendered. This can leave the client in even more tension.
For example with using inappropriate gentle energy work, perhaps the client is only aware of the effects of a more direct style of healing work, so the unregistered subtle energy work could leave the client feeling like their time was wasted. Working with their energy fields may not be anywhere near the level of their sensitivity at that time. What might be called for is work direct enough for the client to relate to it. A conscientious healer will refer the client elsewhere if they don't happen to have the tools that are called for at the time.
If healers find themselves arguing for, or trying to justify, their use of a particular form, they are likely caught in an attachment to the form. This attachment will block them from the underlying intention of healing. The forms in themselves are not responsible for the healing. Unless love is freed up to flow through the form, the form is just an empty shell. Healers that think they have found one ultimate healing method that will always work, have put themselves in prison. The good news is that the Universe will be glad to offer them the means to freedom when they are ready to receive it.
An ideal healer knows that methods do not create healing. Methods are only the interchanging vehicles for healing to be channeled through.
This does not mean that if an individual is only trained in one method that they are of no use. If the healer knows only one method, in all likelihood they will attract to them the people that need exactly that method at exactly that time. The ideal healer will intuitively sense if the method or methods they are trained in are of any use to the person before them. The ideal healer will not hesitate to tell the person if they have nothing to offer them. The ideal healer has no investment in whether the healing comes through them or comes through someone else. The ideal healer acts out of a willingness to be in service, not from a place of trying to facilitate healing in order to be liked or acknowledged.
Personally I've never met anyone who is an ideal healer all of the time. I have met a few that are ideal healers some of the time.
It seems that the more we are open to Spirit and the more we are open to be trained by higher mind, the more time we spend in the place of the ideal healer or in the place of being closer to the ideal.
I'll state again that I don't know anyone who is an ideal healer all of the time and yet a lot of healing is being done. It is being done through people who are willing to give their gifts to the best of their ability now. They are not using as an excuse: "I'm not an ideal healer all of the time so I'd better not attempt to give my gifts until I'm perfect." If everyone sat around waiting until they were perfect, no healing would be getting done now.
At worst our imperfections can only cause a delay in the awareness of the wholeness that is always here. We cannot stop the irresistible power of love, no matter how many mistakes we make. Love is always present. Our mistakes will only temporarily cover our awareness of it. This has not been presented to use as an excuse to go blundering into things with selfish motive and no regard for the effects that mistakes have at the level of relative reality. It is presented as an inspiration to be willing to follow the call to a path of sharing your healing gifts if that call is coming through intuitive guidance from higher mind. Spirit knows when individuals are ready for their next step. If you listen you'll know if your step is Divinely inspired or if it is just being used as an attempt at self-aggrandizement.
A willingness to move as guided by Spirit and a willingness to wait as guided by Spirit will take you on a journey towards becoming an ideal healer. Enjoy the trip!
