The
workshop opened on Thursday night with a very energetic discussion on a
question posed by one of the men attending. “Why is women’s
happiness so related to how they feel about their bodies.” The
response from women in the room ranged from: How we are bombarded by
media on how we ideally “should” look, to: It doesn’t matter that
I have weighed the same for
years, on any given day I can feel good or not good about myself as it
is a total reflection of how I feel about myself inside. The comment
from the men at this point was that just as some woman can feel judged
by how they look, men can feel judged by how much they can contribute to
a relationship on a monetary or power level.
Both genders got insight about how the judgments only 'landed' when they
were already feeling insecure about themselves on a deeper level. What
a great start to the weekend.
At the gathering Kelly dove right into the seemingly overwhelming task we have to heal the pain and misunderstandings from the past between genders. As we learn and heal ourselves, that in turn reflects out and we can teach those around us. Through an exercise Kelly let each gender feel how it is to be in the other genders shoes. On the last day we got to ask all the questions we ever wanted to know and were afraid to ask of the other sex. We also got to apologize to the other gender for anything we felt we had done to wrong them in any way – wow how healing and powerful to be forgiven for mistakes. I personally have learned much more understanding and love for the other gender. I have learned how different our communication styles are and how to attempt to work with that. I have learned how differently men and women express love and how to appreciate those differences.
“This
is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall
each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without
feet.” Rumi
“Out
beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet
you there.” Rumi