Congruence: The Key To A Balanced Life

  By Kelly Tobey

Congruence: Harmony, agreement, suitableness, consistency, fit together, integrated.

We may often fall into the belief that we are fully directing our lives with our conscious minds and decisions. If that were truly the case we would be getting what we think we want, more often. What I would suggest is that what we co-create in our lives is strongly influenced by our conscious minds, our subconscious minds, our ego’s intentions, and our soul’s intentions.

If it were true that our soul is closely connected to Lifeforce and the principals of free will, then it would follow that the soul’s agenda would be suggested to us at some level, but not pushed at us. On the other hand the higher principals of free will do not limit the ego. The ego gets to push its agenda on us if it so chooses.

I would suggest that the ego, and the soul, are influencing both the conscious mind and the unconscious mind.

This would mean that we have the following going on:

Ø      An ego influenced conscious mind.

Ø      A soul influenced conscious mind.

Ø      An ego influenced subconscious mind.

Ø      A soul influenced subconscious mind.

If these elements of self are not in alignment with each other we will suffer disharmony and confusion in our lives.

For example the following could all be going on at the same time:

Ø      The ego influenced conscious mind says, I want relationship because I think it will meet my needs for security and make me happy.

Ø      The soul’s ability to influence the conscious mind may not be in play because there has been no conscious openness to its input.

Ø      The ego influenced subconscious mind, says stay clear of relationships. All past ones have led to pain.

Ø      The soul can influence the subconscious mind because the subconscious mind operates with openness to gathering all incoming information. The soul might be suggesting that an appropriate relationship could be a great way to heal some of the past wounds so there could be a renewed openness to receiving love.

With all these sometimes-conflicting messages going on at the same time it is no wonder that we live with internal struggle, confusion and inability to receive what we think we want.

If we choose to align the ego’s will with the soul’s guidance we can start to realign ourselves and begin the journey towards congruence.

This alignment starts at the level of the conscious mind. If we choose to have a soul directed ego we can make a conscious choice to listen and follow that guidance.

So for instance in the case above, the scenario would switch to the following:

Ø      The ego influenced conscious mind would be aligned with the souls suggestion to start an appropriate relationship.

Ø      The soul influenced conscious mind would be in agreement to start an appropriate relationship.

Ø      The ego influenced subconscious mind, still says stay clear of relationships. All past ones have led to pain.

Ø      The soul influenced subconscious mind would be open to the idea that an appropriate relationship could be a great way to heal some of the past wounds so there could be a renewed openness to receiving love.

This would mean that all that would be left to do is to start to live out some new experiences that counter the ego influenced subconscious minds theory’s that were built on past experiences. In order to get past the power of the subconscious minds ability to sabotage the possibility of having new relationship, some form of healing work could be done to clear the old blocks and make room for new risks.

Exercise:

Journal on the following:

1.         From your ego influenced conscious mind pick something you would like to have in your life but do not have, or something you do have, but would like more of.

2.         Ask intuitively what your soul influenced conscious mind would want for you in regards to this. (This will also be the message the soul has been giving the subconscious mind).

3.         Ask for help from your intuition in getting information about what in your ego influenced subconscious mind is blocking you from what you want. (You will know you have tapped into the subconscious if you are getting new information. If you are writing down information that you are already aware of then it is coming from the conscious mind not the subconscious.) Let the blocks flow up (words, ideas, feelings). The mind may want to give an immediate solution, which would lead to editing what you write. You will be best served by not editing, rather just let the raw information surface. 

4.         Go back to your soul influenced consciousness and ask what it would suggest as ways to move past or heal the unhealthy patterns from the ego influenced subconscious mind. Remember you still have the freedom to act on the ideas or not, so your ego does not need to be afraid of you writing them down.

5.         Ask yourself what, if anything, would you be willing to risk doing from the suggestions your soul is making. If you were willing, when and how would you put these into action? 

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